Happy B-Day to my X

This is my new blog. The life and times of Buttafly. You will find I dream very often during my slumber. I plan to share these dreams with you as they often include celebrities or visions or subconscious fantasies. Today's intro will give you an idea of what you have to look forward to in many entries to come. Enjoy!

Here we are the day after the birthday of my X. So what did I do? Initially, I forgot about his birthday. But, my wonderful female family member so graciously reminded me as his is the day before hers. So, I reached out to him yesterday evening to wish him well on his beloved day to celebrate his intro to the world. I could have called. But, what would I have said after happy birthday? How are things? Is life treating you well? Met anyone lately? Nope, didn't want to hear any awful truths. Didn't want to make small talk. And I didn't want to slip up and say, "I love you" to a man I have not dated in a year. Yep, it's true. I still love him. The worst part of it is it took me months of prayer and purging to get rid of this man from my being. I dated a few different guys since thinking I replaced him. And you know what the jacked up part is? No one has come close to measure up to this man's strength, chivalry, kindness, rough-neck qualities, professionalism, intelligence, and spiritual connections. It's amazing how someone so perfect could be so wrong for me all because of timing and circumstances. Oh, before you even go there he was not in jail, he is not family, he is not my boss. But, he was ending a relationship that was not quite over when I showed up unexpectedly. If only I declined to attend that party, I would not even have him to compare to! Oh well.

Sorry, I got off track. You will come to find that I will do that sometimes. Just stay with me...I will get back on task eventually. So, I text him because that is the best, cowardly thing for me to do to save myself from embarrasement. I texted him a wonderful birthday wish. He responded so quickly my mind would love to think he had been waiting on me all evening to send him that wish. But, the intelligent part of my brain says the man always keeps the phone close to him. Any who, he thanked me and was gracious as usual.

But, what did I do today after sending that message last night? I started my own fantasy. Now I am thinking about the day we meet up again by chance when I am totally in love and boo'd up with a wonderful man. I see the X in a strange state while I am vacationing and my boo is at home while I am away. The X looks all good and I am looking all kinds of fabulous. I tell the X that it is good to see him and I tell him about my love when he asks am I involved. I glow. But, honey the glowing stops when my X reveals that he is still in love with me and wants us to try again because he has not met anyone who makes him feel how I made him feel. And what do I do? I don't want to break my new man's heart who I am so in love with. But, this X...this man still has a hold on me. I want to make love to his mind and hold a permanent place in his heart! I want to grab him and kiss him and tell him let's run away together!

See how far I take things. It may never happen. But, my fantasy caused me to have a wonderful day. All that to say that my X still has a little hold on me apparently. So, I wish him well. But, if he does happen to have feelings for me, he better move quickly before another man scoops me up who is worthy of all this fabulousness. Happy Birthday Boo!