Stranger in My House-Part I

Today I called my older male cousin to check on him. He had been on my mind for a few days, so I decided to reach out on the old fashioned Bell.

Our interchange began with the usual...jokes from his end about how I don't care about him anymore because I haven't called him in 20 years. Didn't I just see you a few weeks ago? But, that is my cousin. Troy is crazy and I love him. His jokes are a normalcy in our relationship and I wouldn't trade him for a billion dollars. Wait---1 Billion? Okay, no still wouldn't trade him. Had to think about that for a sec, though. Kidding....sort of. :-)

Any who, after catching each other up about little things here and there, he goes completely left on me. I didn't expect to hear these words escape his mouth...but they did. My macho, fun loving, has everything together cousin admitted to me he is actually afraid of something. Immediately, I turned off the muted idiot box (TV), folded my legs in a comfortable Indian style on the sofa, and focused on what was coming next.

Troy is a great provider and protector for his family. He is a hard worker, follower of God's Word, a lover of people, has a humble heart, infectious sense of humor, and undoubtedly has a strong character. Of course there are imperfections because he is human. But, he really does try to be the best at it all. I am proud to call this upstanding gentleman my cousin...with his crazy self. Of all the 20 something years I have been on this Earth, fear is the last feeling I thought could embody him. He is strong...like a bull. Never wavering. I want to ask him what is he afraid of. Instead, my mouth shuts as I allow him to vent to his little cuz. It's my turn to be the shoulder and ear for him.

He tells me his baby boy is moving out of the house, which Troy has been pushing him to do in the past 6 months. Allow me to rephrase that. Baby boy matriculated through college and walked across the stage in December to receive his Bachelors. The day of graduation, Troy told him he had exactly 6 months to move out and become a man. Mind you, my little cuz would live between home and his friend's apartment in the city. Baby boy didn't mind as he had been making plans to rent a spot downtown. He said he wanted to be as close to the party scene as possible since the city never sleeps. Okay...if you say so. Apparently, baby boy signed his lease this past weekend and began moving items to his new bachelor pad this morning. Okay, I see where this is going. He is actually growing into a man and Troy is reaching from his emotional side at this moment. Wow...and he chose me to share it with. Okay, this is a milestone for us. My cuz is not He-Man after all. :-)

"Aw, cuz. Your son is finally coming into true manhood, huh? It's cool. You raised him well, he will be fine."

"B, that's not what I am concerned about. I know that knuckle head son of mine will be fine. He is a go getter and he's got a good head on his shoulders."

"Rite...rite. So, what's the issue then?"

Now, I am puzzled. Oh goodness. Troy is about to drop a bomb on me...he is too calm right now.

"Truth be told...and I haven't shared this with anyone else. You are a grown woman, so you can handle this. See, this is why I am so hard on you about dating because I want you to be good."

"Okay......."

"How can I say this?"

"You know me, Troy. Keep it 100."

"I'll just say exactly how I feel it. It's just me and Deb now...just the 2 of us. And it scares the crap out of me. All this time in our marriage I feel like its been about the kids. Now what will we do when all we have is each other? I am afraid we won't make it. I am thinking about leaving."

WHAT??!!

This is the last thing I thought he would say. I always looked at Troy and Deb as the perfect couple. Sure, I knew they had their issues. He always kept it real with me and said that it hasn't been a crystal stair. But, she was the love of his life and they always worked everything out.

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

How did they get here? Was it always about the kids? Did they truly love each other? Is there someone else? Does he feel he missed out on something or someone? Maybe this is a mid-life crisis he is stumbling upon.

I can't believe this. I need to get to the bottom of this...today...


Stay tuned for Part 2....